A Beginning

I've been thinking a lot lately about what to do with this blog. The truth is, I need a place to write and it's just sitting here, taking up space. The things I need to write about are scary but I need to share them. That said, I have no plans to let anyone know that I am blogging again. I figure some of my "followers" will notice and maybe I'll pick up a couple of new friends along the way. The fact is, I need to write for my own benefit and for my own sanity. I also need to know that someone may be reading this, even if I never receive a comment as proof. My life is spiraling out of control and I don't have much of a support system to help me. At this point, invisible internet friends may be all I have.

I've spent most of this year trying to get a handle on my mental illness. I've been in therapy since May and I'm on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist about getting on a medication protocol to stabilize my moods. The current theory is that I am Bipolar II, not just suffering severe chronic depression as previously thought, but also contending with states of hypomania. My mind races so continually that I have a hard time focusing on anything and writing does help me sort things out, at least a little bit. Problem is, I also lack the motivation to write, or do much of anything else. I'm hoping that if I start writing here again, I may be able to continue on a semi-regular basis.

Anyway, that is about all the focusing I can muster at the moment. I am becoming overwhelmed which leads to anxiety and isn't a state I want to be in right now. Welcome, or welcome back, and prepare for what will probably be a very bumpy ride.